Thursday, April 7, 2016

Anniversaries

Today is the one year anniversary of the scariest day/weeks of our lives. On this day, April 7th, last year Lily had her spinal fusion surgery. It was an awful day that turned into an awful 2 weeks. Well maybe an awful 6 months. Things happened we never expected. Our fears caught us off guard as they were rational fears. Believe me, I am used to irrational fears, but these were rational. She was a sick girl and it was hell to witness.
But I can honestly say we are thankful for today. We are thankful for a healthy girl. A happy girl. A brave girl, well frankly, a brave woman. It's been a year a many changes and those changes were hard. They were so hard. There were more hospitalizations, ER visits and Dr. appointments than we have had in her entire life this past year. Things that were never a concern had become a concern. But today. Today things are good. Lily survived the flu without any respiratory distress, at all. She has been able to wean off some seizures meds (she still has seizures it appears with or without the meds) and is much more alert and happy. She has been more communicative with her devise and despite all the wishing the day would never come, Lily has become a woman and it wasn't the end of the world. Not at all actually. Tough on us emotionally, yes, but not tough on her and that is what matters.
So guys I am so happy to say this April 7th we have a beautiful, brave, healthy 13 year old daughter. One who has made enormous strides this year and one whose been nothing short of a miracle.
I know this special needs journey is a roller coaster. I know some days will hurt more than others. But I have a perfect sense of acceptance with Lily and her being exactly who she is. 
I know it takes a long time to get here and even tougher time staying here, but when we face what we could lose, it changes what really matters. And what matters is we are who we are and we are exactly where and who we are meant to be.
Can I get an Amen?
Her brutiful scar one year later

Friday, April 1, 2016

Andi Jane turns 11

So somehow it's been a year since I wrote this Andi Stuck in the Middle post. 
One year. Like 365 days. Actually since it is April 1st it's been more like 380 days or something. I'm not doing the math. There is no need. You do it. OK so I did the math.. 378 days. 
But my point is somehow after all that marveling at the fact our middle girl was 10, well now she's 11. What the heck.
Why do they keep getting older, it's so unnerving. 
So Andi Jane is now 11. Dude. 11.
She is still full of fire and crackers. She is light in the dark and can be a million shades of blue when she isn't feeling what we are feeling.
She is getting better each season at volleyball and basketball. She loves to learn ways to take care of her skin and hair and bake all kinds of treats. She makes about 80 billion Musicallys a day and she really likes Instagram. She has amazing best friends that I prayed she would have and pray they continue their relationships.
She fights for injustice at her young age. Sticks up for kids who don't stick up for themselves. She stands beautifully tall at 5'7" and continues to grow what seems daily. 
She has recently started babysitting and has become CPR certified as well as completed a days course of babysitting class. 
She loves babies and is the best little mama I know.
She is smart, she is funny, she is sassy and full of spirit. Her compassion surmounts anyone I know and I know it stems from loving Lily unconditionally from the day she met her. But also know it comes from her being her.
When she was a little I used to wonder if we would ever both make it out alive, I always knew she would move mountains when she could figure out how to focus her energy and she is getting there. 
I pray she continues to learn on her own about things that light her fire. I continue to pray she walks with Jesus and learns to know him in her own way, not her parents way. I pray she just continues being who she is, because no one does Andi Jane better than Andi Jane!
May you always be comfortable in your own beautiful skin. May you always proudly stand a head above the rest (literally and figuratively). May you always just be you. There can never be a more beautiful you! 








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